


Stop Texting Me Sherlock!

by ArabellaMoonstone1



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Annoyed John, Bored Sherlock, F/M, Funny, Humor, Mary Comebacks, Mycroft Threats, Other, Sherlock Being a Drama Queen, Slight Sherlolly, Texting, annoying sherlock, early morning, friends - Freeform, it's funny, just read it, mentions of mystraude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-10 03:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2009415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArabellaMoonstone1/pseuds/ArabellaMoonstone1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's early morning quest to conquer boredom leads to texting everyone on his (very short) contacts list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bugger off.

Bored. -SH

When are you not? -JW

When something interesting turns up. WHY ISN'T ANYTHING INTERESTING TURNING UP?!? -SH

I don't know Sherlock why don't you go ask the head in the fridge?  It's bloody 3 in the morning! Bugger off. -JW

But JOOOOOHHHN I'm booooorrreeed... -SH

what the hell do you want me to do about it? -JW

commit murder. -SH

No. -JW

Ask Mary to commit murder? -SH

No. -JW

PLEASE?!? -SH

I'M NOT ASKING MY PREGNANT WIFE TO KILL SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU SHUT UP FOR TWO SECONDS. -JW

alright fine. -SH

good. -JW

What about Molly? -SH

SHERLOCK! -JW

Alright just making sure you're still awake... -SH

As if you didn't know that already. -JW

of course I did. I always do. -SH

well that's not the slightest bit creepy at all. -JW

I'm Sherlock Holmes I can be as enigmatic as I want to be. -SH

Arrogant Bastard. -JW

drama queen. -SH

At least I'm a queen. -JW

Oh how the roles have reversed. -SH

Goodnight Sherlock. -JW

...

...

...

john? -SH

John. -SH

JOHN!! -SH

Don't make me call Mary! -SH

I have her on speed dial. -SH

John! -SH

grrrrrrrr -SH

god you're so IMMATURE! -SH

BORED -SH

Fine! I'll text someone else then -SH

Preferably someone who doesn't SLEEP halfway through a bloody conversation. -SH


	2. Busy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texts between Sherlock & Lestrade AND Sherlock & Mycroft

Good morning Gary. -SH

Greg. -GL

I'm bored. -SH

I'm busy. -GL

At 4 in the morning? -SH

yes. -GL

Say hi to my brother will you? -SH

What are you on about? -GL

Busy? 4 in the morning? Surely even you can deduce that. -SH

<<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hello brother dear, didn't think you were such an early bird. -SH

...

I always knew that you would be the first to find a goldfish between the two of us. -SH

...

I think I'll just give mummy a call...havent spoken to her for AGES. -SH

95% of The British secret service is on my speed dial. Do you REALLY want to cross me? -MH

is that a threat or a confession? -SH

...

...

...

Careful Mycroft, your silence speaks much. -SH

shut up. -MH

or what? You'll send your little "secret service" after me?  -SH

shut up. And know, that if a single word is uttered, I will personally tell mummy that you will be  _delighted_ to take her to the old Holmes reunion in Glasgow this summer. -MH

you wouldn't dare. -SH

watch me. -MH

 


	3. Patrick

bored. -SH

and? -Molly

enlighten me. -SH

My life cant be more exciting than THE sherlock holmes. -Molly

more exciting than my brother's early-morning escapades. -SH

Really? Sounds intriguing enough -Molly

My brothers sex life is intriguing to u? -SH

ew no...I just mean...its still a hell of a lot more interesting than my morning at the morgue -Molly

Doubt it. Can I come over to pick up those fingers? -SH

Right now? -Molly

yes. -SH

if itll make u less bored...sure whatever. -Molly

omw. -SH

<<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Molly. -SH

John says I should apologize. -SH

...

...

Oh come on I was doing you a favor. -SH

...

If he cant handle severed fingers how was he gonna handle your career? -SH

...

Mooooolllllyyy -SH

...

Shut up. -Molly

Its not my fault hes a lightweight. -SH

"The pus is just starting to protrude from where the knife sliced through the flesh completely." -Molly

Small talk. Or is that not what u've been trying to make me do for the past decade?" -SH

He threw up -Molly

Mrs Hudson has more of a spine -SH

in my office. -Molly

yess well... -SH

Which i then had to clean on my own, cuz u left. -Molly

oh and Patrick dumped me. -Molly

He was an idiot. u can do better -SH

...

...

...

I hate u. -Molly

b/c I'm right? -SH

don't push your luck. -Molly

sorry. -SH

 


End file.
